Or: What Dracula Got Wrong
I tried as hard as I could to read this with a straight face. Really.
Why Vampires Live Forever

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Author: The Cat Herder General
aka Dennis Moser — Citoyen du monde: Peregrinator, photographer, retired librarian/archivist/academic, musician, teacher of English to foreigners, and sometime writer... Due to bureaucratic nonsense, I have left Europe. I DID not return to the US, I took a left turn at the Calgary airport and am a refugee trying to learn to understand, and maybe speak, "Jouai" over here amongst the Quebecois.
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